


Remember the weight of the world

by Gemino



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disabled Character, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-04 08:16:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3035402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemino/pseuds/Gemino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things that even a Lazarus Pit can't touch.</p>
<p>Or, Selina would know that boy in the alleyway anywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Be forewarned- I like to think of comma rules as guidelines more than actual rules.
> 
> Title is from "I Summon You" by Spoon.

Selina Kyle leaned on a gargoyle, stretched her arms above her head. She was out and about playing vigilante that night because, for once, she didn't have a heist in the works. She didn't need to; last week had been profitable.

It appeared from the numerous purchases made from her by a familiar shadow account that one of the al Ghuls was courting someone, and she had to admit- whoever it was, they sure knew how to make a girl's heart melt. They'd picked some of the most gorgeous pieces she had on offer right now. She suspected Talia was getting herself a pretty little distraction, but you could never be sure. There was a chance they were setting up a marriage for the youngest of the line.

Looking down from Gotham's imposing, smoggy skyline, she almost missed the young man curled up in the alley below her. He was perfectly still, and situated in the deepest shadows the small nook had to offer. The only thing off was the untouched loaf of bread he held.

Selina watched with interest as a pair of kids rounded the corner into the alley, a girl and a much younger boy. They were probably siblings. The older checked around them before scampering towards the young man eagerly, dragging her brother behind her. Sitting down in front of the oldest of the group, the boy began to talk animatedly. The young man smiled and handed the bread to the sister, who broke off a piece and handed it to her brother.

Selina silently dropped into the alley and pulled out her wallet. She had a sterling silver bracelet in it; the piece was nothing compared to her usual prey, but it was the most expensive thing on her at the moment. This little group would value it. Pulling the bracelet out and setting it on the ground behind the sister, she felt eyes on her. Selina looked up.

The young man's face was shadowed by the hoodie he wore, but he was definitely watching her. Neither of the siblings had noticed. She grinned and gestured to the bracelet and to him, silently making her gift clear. He considered her for a long moment, then nodded almost imperceptibly. Selina backed away and began scaling the wall to reach the rooftops again. 

"Hey, hey, Ms. Catwoman, you dropped something," she heard, and looked down. The brother was waving the bracelet in the air as they all looked up at her. Selina laughed.

"Well, I guess it's your lucky day. Finder's keepers!" she replied. As the two children shrieked in delight, the young man waved to her, grinning. She took a moment to examine his face and almost fell off the wall in shock.

Black hair, pale skin, strong arms, impossibly sharp jawline, impossibly teal eyes- sure, he was taller and a lot thinner than when she'd last seen him, and those bright, bright eyes were now dull and cloudy, but-

"Jason," she breathed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason is heartbreaking. Or, How to get Babs to do Something for You, by Selina Kyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh I don't really know what I'm doing, either. Disabled Character tag rears its head in this chapter.

The first thing that Barbara notices drop through her window is *hips*; the second, Chinese take-out containers.

"Alright, Kit Kat, what do you want?" she asks, eyeing the boxes hungrily. Selina knows how to bribe her, always has. They'd hit it off instantly back in the glory days of flying around on rooftops, playing the who-can-frustrate-Bruce-more game, and that friendship has managed to stick around.

"All of your files on Jason Todd," the brunette states calmly. Barbara's head snaps up, her jaw nearly falling open in shock- now there is an unusual request. The "family" simply doesn't talk about him. 

At least, they don't talk about him around Bruce, or hardly even Dick, or Tim, or- well, actually, she guesses that she and Steph and Cass are the only ones who acknowledge him beyond that glass case in the Batcave.

("A Good Soldier." 

The thing made her a little bit sick every time she saw it.)

Barbara shakes herself out of her reverie, looks up at Selina again, quizzically. The woman's expression gives nothing away and wow does that take-out smell amazing. She maybe forgot to eat lunch. *Maybe*.

"Why?" she straight-up asks, because she's Oracle and she's supposed to know everything and nothing concerning Jason has surfaced since that Clayface fiasco a year or so ago and she is *curious*, dammit!

Selina turns around and examines the outside for a second, before closing the window firmly and turning back. She looks slightly distressed now that Barbara's given her a chance to open up, and it strikes the redhead that this is maybe a little bit suspicious. She expects this kind of paranoia out of Bruce, but almost never Selina. If Catwoman has secrets, she never tells them until she does (in a loud, usually destructive fashion).

"We're alone?" Selina asks, and Barbara nods. The woman before her sort of, like, deflates, sits down on the window ledge and puts her head in her hands. She's silent for a moment more, before lifting her head, and okay. Slightly distressed has turned into confusion and sadness and maybe a little bit of hope; Barabara cocks her head.

"Either Jason Todd has a homeless identical twin that just happens to share his food with street kids and knows the best place to hide in an alleyway and not get noticed, or he's not as dead as we thought he was," she gushes, and Babs is kind of done with her life at this point. 

Because.

Jason. *Robin*. Her kind and beautiful and flirtatious and scared and completely shamelss and stupid, stupid *Robin*

"...You didn't tell *him*, right?" she questions, half-frantic, because that is probably the worst thing they can do in this situation. Bruce must be eased into this, or he'll turn the streets upside down and inside out in a reckless, probably overly violent and unnecessarily careless hunt for his lost boy. And they don't even know if this is actually Jason.

"Of *course* not!" Selina shoots back, "Do you have any idea what he'd do?" 

"I have every idea what he'd do," Barbara replies darkly. 

"Look, we need to approach this calmly. If Jason is living on the streets, it's likely that he has amnesia or some other form of damage, but since he's alive, he's obviously retained some of his skills, be they from before or after his days as Robin. Pass me the fried rice, this is gonna take a while."

+++

"Okey-dokey, Kit-Kat," comes from her earpiece, and *god* Selina hates that name, doesn't understand why Babs keeps using it, "the area is 100% Bat-free, except you and me and the objective."

"I am *not* a Bat!" Selina snaps, a little vindictive. She may flirt with Bruce and play vigilante occasionally, but she's master criminal and she's damn well going to stay that way. Babs mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'coulda fooled me,' but the brunette decides to ignore it.

Gracefully stretching her limbs, Selina drops back into the alleyway in front of Jason; he starts, glares warily at her.

"Calm down, kitten," she says, putting her hands up, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Selina takes a step forward, prompting Jason to shift from sitting into a fighter's crouch, one that will allow him to lunge at her, easily. She scoffs, slightly, drops into a crouch of her own. This one is less for combat and more for putting herself on eye level with him, though.

"Jason," she says.

He doesn't respond.

"Jason," she tries again, "it's me, Catwoman."

Still, nothing. Selina sighs, closes her eyes, drops her head. Babs told her this might be bad, but she'd been hoping. Hoping for, well- she, isn't really sure what for, but. It's depressing, to know that someone you've known and liked and grieved for in your own silent two-AM-drinking-spree and crime-less couple of months (because Jesus, don't you think Bruce has got enough on his plate?) doesn't. Doesn't remember you, or even himself.

She feels a hand settle on her shoulder and looks up to see that Jason has moved close enough to touch her, apparently trying to comfort her (still too kind for his own good). He opens his mouth as if to say something, shuts it again.

"Jason?" Selina asks, because he's never been reticent. Not in life, and, in a way, not in death. The shadow he casts over the Bats is loud and intrusive and omniscient.

Jason stares at her for a moment before looking away, wordless. He shakes his head and pulls his hand off her shoulder to run it through his shaggy hair, roughly. There's a white patch, Selina notices for the first time. It's right in the front, just not obvious until the hair on top of it is pulled back.

"Catwoman?" Babs asks; Selina taps the earpiece once to let her know she's okay.

"Hey, Jason, it's okay if you don't wanna talk, it's okay if-" Selina cuts off as Jason looks back at her again with cloudy, glazed, yet piercing eyes.

'I can't', he mouths, and Selina's heart breaks for him. Of course there was more permanent damage, of course, he'd been. Well. She didn't want to think about that.

"Oh, kitten," Selina says, reaches out to Jason to embrace him. He's unmoving, not stiff just... still, in her grasp, but he lets her hold him. Hesitantly, he winds his arms underneath of hers, and. Jason was never this docile in life, never this... submissive.

"Bruce will pitch a fit," Selina mutters, and the boy in her arms stiffens like a board, wrenches out of her grip. He grabs her shoulders, holds her at arms length. Their eyes meet; Selina's bewildered. Jason looks frantic.

'You know... Bruce?' Jason asks, slowly, like he hadn't even tried to communicate in a while. Selina nods, and Jason's gaze intensifies.

'Is he,' Jason pauses, clearly troubled, but shakes his head and continues, 'my... father?'

 

Selina grins, because she can work with this. Because Jason hasn't forgotten everything. She nods vehemently.

"Yes, kitten, he adopted you," she says, hears Babs let out a little gasp of surprise, "but if you don't want to go to him, you don't have to."

'I'm- I'm not sure,' Jason says. He thinks for a moment, and Selina waits, lets him.

'You said, that, I am... Jason. And you're Catwoman.'

"That's right, kitten," Selina responds. 

"Selina? Does he remember?" Babs asks through the comm. Selina motions for Jason to give her a second, and he nods.

"Hardly anything, but he knows that B is his father. He doesn't seem to know whether he wants to go back, though, which gives me the feeling that he remembers something isn't quite right, there. And, Oracle?"

"Yeah?"

"There's. There's something else, too. I'll tell you later, okay, just know that B is not going to be happy about it *at all*."

(And neither will anyone else, goes unspoken.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear, I can speak, so I don't really know how to write this 100% accurately. I'm trying. Also, if Jason sounds stilted, awkward in this exchange, it's because he's hungry and tired and confused and this random stranger has just shown up who apparently know who he is and also knows about the one thing he can remember. I would certainly be stilted and awkward in that situation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason doesn't blink and it freaks Selina out lol

Selina climbs through the window of her apartment, lands gracefully (as always). 

She's conflicted.

She sighs, peels off the domino mask and the gloves and struggles with the boots for a minute before freeing herself from them, as well. Collapsing on the chair, she sighs again, more forcefully this time. Selina always had a plan. She could take anything the Bats could throw at her and dance herself out of it with a coy smile and an air of always being one step ahead. Hell, she usually was one step ahead.

She is one step ahead. Right now, she and Babs are perhaps the only two people who know Jason is somehow still kicking around. The thing is, Selina attended Jason's funeral, Selina sobbed over his body, Selina visited the graveyard more times than she could remember.

The Bats may be a bunch of orphans, but only one of them was ever really a stray. She doesn't play favorites, but-

"Best not to entertain that thought," she says to herself, rolling over on the bed and smushing her face into the pillows. She groans, still unsatisfied with the arrangement, and flops onto her side to face the back wall of her penthouse. Her eyes widen. There, in the love seat in the corner, sits Jason; he must have followed her through her entire patrol to track her back here! He's slouched in the chair, staring at the fire intently.

"Hey," she says, slightly in awe. He nods, not quite meeting her eyes.

"You follow me here?" she asks. He hesitates, nods again and draws his legs up to his body. His feet are on the chair. His eyes dart around the room and he looks down again.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. That's cool," Selina says. She sits awkwardly on the bed, he sits awkwardly on the chair, and she realizes that she has no idea what she's doing. She could take him to Babs, but Babs wouldn't know what to do, either. She could take him to Dick, but Dick would tell Tim and Tim would tell Bruce, maybe. She could take him to Harley, but Harley might be in costume, and something tells her that clowns are the last thing Jason needs to see right now.

The hairs on the back of her neck raise a little. She looks up, subtly; Jason is staring holes into her. 

He's not blinking. It's kind of creepy.

She could take him to Pamela.

"Hey, kid. Do you remember Poison Ivy?" she asks, and his completely vacant eyes are all the answer she needs. 

+++

"Hello, Selina."

"You always know when I'm coming!"

"Well, you are standing on one my trees. They are usually very clear," Pamela gestures to the branch Selina's perched on. 

"True, true."

"Who is that with you?" Pamela asks, craning her head around Selina to look at the boy in the shadows behind her. Selina takes a deep breath; she doesn't know how Jason will react to Pamela now that he's actually in her presence. If his blatant, far too easy trust of her is any measure, he probably remembers the basic feelings he associated with people if not the specifics of their relationship.

(Selina tries not to think about his association of trust with her, because she's not supposed to care this much about the Batbrats.)

She reaches back to Jason and grasps his arm. He startles slightly, but she ignores it, tugging him forward into the sunlit patch she and Pamela are standing in. Pamela's vines stop moving, suddenly, the only indication of her shock. 

"This is unexpected. I was under the impression that he was dead," she says, and Selina shrugs.

"So was I, until last night. I found him in an alleyway and he managed to follow me home," Selina responds. She looks back at Jason, who is staring at her. He's doing the not blinking thing again, swaying from side to side nervously. He hasn't made any attempts to attack or retreat from Pamela yet; Selina's not sure if that's good or bad.

"Jason," she says, "this is Pamela, or as you may know her, Poison Ivy."

His attention snaps over to Pamela, and he stares at her quizzically. She stares back, stone-faced; the flowers scattered across her skin have blossomed, however, and are facing Jason eagerly. She's curious. Selina grins, wickedly, knows she's made the right choice. Poison Ivy was all sensuality, all body language- all nonverbal communication, and that's exactly what Jason needs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck do you mean, you took him to Pamela."
> 
> "I don't know, Babs, what does it sound like?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is a little ooc, for all parties involved. future chapters will be beta'd, though, so hopefully that'll fix this at least a little?

"So, you can't talk," Pamela says. She turns her head to look at Jason, who shakes his own without looking at her. Regarding him for a moment, Pamela notices how... gaunt he is. He is, dare she say it, deathly pale, cheekbones prominent and circles under his eyes dark as the grave. The boy never looked like this as Robin, although she supposes that's because Bruce doesn't just set them out on the street as fast as he gets them. She remembers this one being rougher than the others, remembers him smelling faintly of cigarettes and sometimes cursing. He would have needed more training than the frst two, a well as recovery from what was probably a life on the streets.

"Well, I do not know sign language, but I am not as... chatty, as Selina's other associates, so I suppose that's why you're with me," Pamela tells him. She wants to establish that this is not a personal choice, and she is a goddess- nurturing, perhaps, but not motherly.

They're sitting in a meadow full of wildflowers deep in Pamela's territory; the sun shines down from above, lighting up Jason's otherwise dead eyes. He still hasn't looked at her. He doesn't trust her- she can't blame him, but it is disconcerting. As Robin, he'd been almost as openly flirtatious as his predecessor, never taking his eyes off of her. Jason always stared at her face, though.

(The third one, the current one, couldn't be more different than either of them. He is skittish and obvious until he curls behind the domino mask and- what was the word Harlene had used?- disassociates... she digresses.)

Pamela continues to study the young man Selina has pinned on her. Scars cover his face and hands and every inch of visible skin. No doubt they hide under his clothes, as well. She watches his eyes flutter and slide closed, only to fly back open accompanied by a small start. He repeats this cycle several times, clearly exhausted, but unable to fall asleep.

"There are demons behind your eyes, aren't there?" Pamela asks, softly. Jason turns to look at her, finally. She takes it as a confirmation.

"I can give you dreamless sleep," she offers, and he nods slowly. He opens his mouth as if to thank her, but closes it, remembering. Pamela gives him a puff of pollen, and he starts blinking rapidly, alarmed. She smiles and places a hand on his head, runs a hand through his grimy hair. His eyes close, and just before he finally surrenders to sleep, his features form the smallest smile she's ever seen and he nuzzles against her fingers.

He reminds Pamela of something, a song she used to like...

"When a thing is wick, it has a life about it, maybe not a life like you and me..." she sings, softly- she can't remember any of the other words, or where the tune is from. She doesn't really care.

+++

"Why Poison Ivy?" Babs demanded.

"Oh, please. Pam is about the only sane woman I know, besides you, and let's face it- you'd probably just slam your door on me if I showed up here with Jason. Bruce stops by far too often, anyways, and you wouldn't know what to do!"

"Okay," Babs says, "fine. I can't argue any of those points, but still! What about... Dick?"

"Babs, trust me, I thought of that too," Selina reassures, "and I would've done just that, but Dick would tell Tim who'd tell Bruce, and-"

"Right, Bruce can't figure it out."

Selina watches the redhead carefully. She can see the gears working in Babs' head, but knows that she'll come around eventually. 

Can't hurt to spur her on a little.

"There's another reason," she says. Babs looks up at her, and she continues.

"You've fought Pamela a million times, and watched the others fight her more. She's all nonverbal, and I think that could be really good for Jason right now, because of..." Selina trails off, not needing to elaborate. Babs nods, and swivels around to face the computer screen.

"Fine. You know I trust your judgement, Selina, but keep in mind that Jason could be extremely impressionable right now, and Ivy's not just body language and withering looks."

Selina sighs; she's been doing that a lot, lately. She goes to climb out the window, but is interrupted by Babs.

"Also Bruce is going to kill you when he finds out," she says. Selina smiles.

"So what'll he do to you?" she responds.

+++

Pamela walks among her roses, thinking about the former Robin she's been handed. Jason Peter Todd, unknown age, but with eyes a little too greeny-teal to ever fit with Bruce's other clones perfectly.

She'd picked him up easily, too easily, after he'd fallen asleep, given him a bath and taken his measurements for new clothes. The only real shock came when she took his semi-ratty shirt off to discover autopsy scars.

"How does one break that to someone?" she asks her Tudor rose bush. It rustles slightly, as if shrugging. She laughs.

The trees cry out; the boy is approaching.

Pamela turns to face him. He shouldn't have woken up yet; she blames it on leftover tolerance from his days with Batman. He looks better after a bath and some rest.

"Hm. You need a haircut," she says, and his eyes narrow suspiciously before he grins and bolts away. Pamela is angry, before she realizes that the Tudor rose bush and the trees are laughing. The azaleas, however, are suspiciously quiet.

Playing, whispers the grass. Pamela sighs, and smiles, slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jason's coming out of his shell around pamela a little because she's being kind to him, doing things for him. he hasn't done this with selina because she hasn't done anything specific; his relationship with her is based upon the association he has, but his relationship with pamela is based upon things since his resurrection.
> 
> in case anyone was wondering, what jason associates with pamela is "honorable."
> 
> the song pamela sings a couple lines of is "Wick" from the musical adaptation of "The Secret Garden." if anyone wants to listen to it, it really portrays the jason i'm trying to get across here.


End file.
